Can You Hear This?

Back in the day, there were seasons for sports. Baseball was in the spring, football was in the fall, basketball was in the winter and then it started over. It was actually possible for high school athletes to play football and basketball for their school without overlapping seasons.

This is no longer the case. There is pre-season, early season, off-season and, of course, regular season. Then there is post-season and post-season playoffs. Each sport is now an almost a year-round activity. Forget finding a double-letterman in high school or college, girls, it’s just a logistical impossibility.

Every woman whose ever had a relationship with a man lasting more that two minutes has been forced to accept one amazingly simple fact: men love their sports!!! Whether it’s football, basketball, baseball, soccer, hockey, or polo, men are addictived to their loves. Sometimes their love affairs are of the multiple variety, but they always have at least one.

I’ve learned over the years, growing up in a household with only ONE television that Saturday and/or Sunday would mean non-stop viewing of whatever game was on the tube. It didn’t matter if it was the home team, the favorite team or the most hated team, the TV dial was set on whatever team was being televised that day, period.

In addition to knowing the game would be viewed, no matter what game it was, I also learned there are some wars you just can’t win. Trust me on this one, ladies, and don’t even try it! Men must have their sports fix and they are much more accommodating to your needs if they get it. Bill Engvall says that men are about three things: food, sleep and sex. I disagree, men have four basic needs: food, sleep, sex and sports. Not necessarily in that order either!

My advice, girls, is very simple. Give the man in your life what he needs. Find out what day his particular “game” is on TV. Fix him up some appropriate “sporting event” snacks and make sure the fridge is stocked with the beer of his choice. Then, tell him sweetly, when the game is about to commence to sit back, put his feet up and enjoy the game! Yes, that’s right! And, NO, I haven’t completely lost my mind!

Here’s how it works! You let him know you are understanding and supportive of his need for his sports fix, and in return, he’ll be just like the dog whose been given a great big juicy bone. He’ll be so appreciative, when you say you want to go out shopping for a new comforter and accessories, he’ll just be happy to go along and carry all your packages. And, you and I both know, once you get a man out shopping, you’re not going to stop with the selection of a new comforter. You’ll suddenly realize you need a new gourmet coffee grinder or some new suede pumps. And, if you’ve picked yourself a good one from the herd, he’ll probably whip out his wallet once you get to the check-out.

Remember, men, like dogs, need lots of love, food and attention. Applied appropriately, with consistent positive reinforcement, it is possible to teach an “old” dog new tricks! Oh, and girls, men…….. they’re even easier to train than old dogs!