Are you a fugitive?
It never ceases to amaze me how things that would seem obvious to most of us go by others, fellow inhabitants of this planet, as if they are deaf, dumb and blind.
Bill Engvall, a favorite comedian of mine, has built a career on of the stupidity of folks stating the obvious. His “Here’s your sign” jokes are hilarious and remind me, if nothing else, not to take myself too seriously. Every day you can find an example of the “Here’s your sign” mentality in action. I observed the following example recently.
As you might guess, when you plan to purchase a firearm of any kind there is a procedure you must follow and questions that must be answered. I knew there was a process but I didn’t really know what it involved as I don’t own any firearms and have never purchased one. However, I have a friend that recently decided to purchase one and, having no other plans, I went along to see how the process works.
You must plan in advance to purchase a gun because you are required to produce 3 types of identification. One must be a photo id. For the other two, I got the impression they like voter’s registration cards and car registrations, but they may take passports, photo work ids, etc. as well. Obviously, you need to know in advance what is acceptable and take those documents with you.
There are several forms you must complete at the time of purchase, too. The forms require all pertinent information such as name, date of birth, address, social security number and so on. There are also a number of questions. Some are pretty basic………….“are you a US citizen?”, for example. But some of the other questions leave me wondering just who makes up these forms, anyway?
Are you currently under the influence of drugs or alcohol? Excuse me, have you ever seen anyone strolling or driving around telling folks around him, “oh, by the way, I’m drunk as a skunk” ?? If you’re outside a frat house on the day of a big game——maybe—–but, most of the time, you hear something like, “uh, officer, I only had two beers and I’m right as rain, with absolutely no warning at all, that telephone poll just jumped right out in front of the car!!” Therefore, I seriously doubt that someone “under the influence” is going to ‘fess up while filling out a questionaire, especially if they decided while “under the influence” buying a gun is a good idea.
Do you currently have a restraining order against you? Your neighbor has cut your hedges down without permission and you have threatened to mow down his begonias. As a result, you have a restraining order requiring that you remain at least 50 feet away from his prized garden. OR, you’ve threatened to kill your cheatin’, no good spouse, and s/he has taken it seriously, thus a restraining order to stay clear. In either instance, if you are seeking a gun with which to dispatch your neighbor or cheatin’ spouse, Are You Going To Say So On a Freakin’ Questionaire ???? I think not!
And, last, not least, but, definitely the most absurd, Are you a fugitive from justice? Yep, folks, it’s spelled out right there on the form. Call me crazy but, if you’re a fugitive from justice and seeking a gun, you are probably not prone to telling the truth in the first place. In the second, you probably aren’t going to stand up and raise your hand by saying “Yes” to such a question when trying to purchase a firearm. Duh!
Believe it or not, the salesman at the gun shop provided some amazing feedback. Apparently, much as I find it “Here’s your sign” stupid, many people will answer those questions affirmatively. They then appear shocked and surprised when two burly state troopers arrive to “assist them into custody.” The salesman said that, in such cases, he offers at the close of such a transaction to show the potential gun owner and self-admitted fugitive, how to break down and clean their new gun. They never seem to pick up on this delay until the troopers arrive………….
The moral of the story……………..be careful how you answer the questions, the truth will not always set you free!
