Can You Hear This?

August 15, 2006

Gone in Sixty Seconds….

Filed under: Parenting Pickles — Darlene @ 11:30 am

Sixty seconds. That’s all it took for me to go from a normal, ordinary, stable working mom to a completely insane, hysterical crazy woman. Sixty seconds. Whether or not it’s a record, I don’t really know but it was pretty fast for me! I mean, I’m a fairly rational individual and generally logical in my thinking and reactions. I’m discovering, however, that being the parent of a fast-maturing teenager is apparently more than I can handle at times.

If any of you have a teenager in residence at your home, you know what I mean. You can be completely sane and rational one minute and after 10 seconds of teenage-itis (which even the most properly-raised, polite child, can come down with in a nano-second or less) and you are suddenly ready to tear them limb from limb or send them off to the nearest military boarding school.

It isn’t just the smart-mouth comebacks or the sullen-looks with no verbal response at all. It’s the fact that you raised this kid to be polite, respect his elders and mind his manners which they do routinely with teachers, neighbors, family friends and complete strangers (folks just love to tell you how polite and well-mannered they are) but, when teenage-itis strikes, you, the parent, will see no evidence of your good training at all. The child in question will suddenly take on the persona of someone raised by hyenas.

In all fairness, I can remember my Mama telling me from time to time that I was just being “hateful” which translated into she didn’t like my verbal response to whatever was going on at the time. I guess all your sins come home to roost when you have a teenager yourself.

While it was totally embarrassing to me once I calmed down, I’ll tell you what transpired to make me completely lose it in order to help you prepare for the next time you’re confronted with a case of teenage-itis. Trust me—if there were a vaccine, I’d join W.H.O. to help give it out to the masses to save other parents from my fate today. By the way, for the uneducated, it is also contagious. Put two well-mannered teenagers in a room and, if one comes down with it, the other one will catch it within seconds, even faster if they are, by chance, related.

My experience:

Beau needed a sports physical for football before two-a-days start next week. He also needed to go to the school at a specified time to pick up his first lot of equipment. My work day was somewhat flexible so I decided that, rather than wait to the last minute, we would take care of those items this afternoon.

It might help in your understanding of how quickly the situation deteriorated if you know that for the last week or so we’ve been having record temperatures here in Central VA with many days registering triple digit temps. Today, it only got up to 98 but suffice it to say, it was still like the burning pit of hell if you happened to be out and sitting in the middle of several square yards of asphalt.

After waiting forever for the folks at the doctor’s office to pronounce him fit to play, we drove to the school to pick up his equipment. I, of course, was expected to wait in the burning pit of hell–otherwise known as the compact car I drive parked in the middle of the school’s large asphalt parking lot. The fact that one of the windows in my vehicle is non-working, at the moment, didn’t help. Finally in desperation, I moved the car some distance from the other soccer Moms’ large SUVs and parked where I could open the doors in the desperate hope of getting a little air stirring through my tiny car.

Finally, after every stitch of clothing I had on was plastered to my body, I called Beau on his cell phone to find out how much longer I would be required to swelter, and he announced that he was on his way out. Driving back towards home, I told him that, since Darlin’ Boy was hoping for a salad for dinner (it is far too hot for anything heavier), I needed to stop at the store on the way as we had no lettuce-type greens at home. I chose the Wal-Mart superstore, not because it’s where I like to shop but because it was directly on the path to home. Sometimes convenience wins out over ambience or quality, but hey, such is life!

So, as we go into the Wal-Mart Superstore in search of baby spinach and spring mix, I tell Beau to get a cart. As I’m perusing the lettuce selection, he comes up behind me and I assume it is with the cart I requested. I handed off the salad selection and headed to the back of the grocery section to get another, much needed staple in this heat, beer. Light beer, of course, but definitely something to “wet the whistle” at the end of the day. Once arrived at the refrigerated beer case, I began to make my selection and discovered there is no cart available in which to place my selections.

Beau, gallantly I’m sure, states that it’s no trouble for him to carry it, seeing as how he has spent the summer working out with weights in preparation for the coming football season. He takes both 12 pks by the handles and follows me to the front of the store. Along the way, I grab a loaf of bread and a couple of limes to go with the beer and off to the check out we go. We start to go through the self-checkout but the young lady in front of me is ready to take out her day’s frustration on the machine when it states for the hundredth time “there is a problem with your entry, please wait for assistance”. Fearing that the machine would be damaged beyond use once our turn arrived, we moved quickly over to the 10 items or less register which had the initial appearance of a “live” person as cashier.

That’s when it happened. There we were, innocently holding our selections, when the large female cashier, evidently attempting an impersonation of Rick James, began scrutinizing our items. She asks me who Beau is. Since most people can tell at first glance that we are definitely related, I answered with some surprise, “my son”. How old is he? she asks. By this time, I have taken the pkgs of beer away from Beau and placed them on the counter. A blind man could easily see that he had merely been assisting me with carrying the load and was not making a purchase himself. She demands to see my ID which I produced then asked for Beau’s. I told her he didn’t have one with him and she tells me she’s not selling me the beer and begins voiding it off the register.

That’s when it happened. I had been irritated with Beau for not getting the cart I’d requested in the first place and after lugging that beer from the back of the store to the front of the store, this “Rick James” wannabe is telling me I can’t buy it. I snatched my ID out of her fat paws and stormed out of the store. The volcano of irritation and anger then spewed forth as I launched into a hissy-fit at Beau. I must say that he was catching some of the ire I would have liked to heap on “Rick James” wannabe’s nappy head but, since the whole of the problem could have been avoided had Beau followed the instructions I gave him, he caught the brunt of it.

There I was, in front of God and every red-neck within 50 miles, in the Wal-Mart parking lot giving Beau “down the country” for not doing as I’d asked him in getting a “buggy”. Where I come from, stores didn’t have “shopping carts” they had buggies. You went to the store and put your stuff in the shopping “buggy”. Obviously, when my ire is piqued, my southern becomes more pronounced. All I really remember at this time is Beau saying to me “quit saying buggy” which, of course, just made me more irritated with him.

Now, I suppose in retrospect, if I’m going to have a hissy-fit in public, it’s better to have one in the Wal-Mart parking lot than in Nordstrom’s, but truly, it is embarrassing no matter where it happens once you’ve regained some semblance of calm. However, I know I speak for any parent that has experience a case of teenage-itis, that it is sometimes so severe and completely unexpected that you don’t, for a time, really care where you are or who may be around. We’re talking a serious ailment here, not just some passing “run of the mill” bug—teenage-itis can come on as a full-fledged plague, completely unexpected and difficult to overcome.

My hat is off to those who manage, despite the vile nature of this disease, to stand firm, calm and unaffected by it. Safe to say, those are cooler heads than mine—especially with mine being red, and all. So be warned, those of you who still have those lovely tow-headed tots that say “please” and “thank you” and tell you ever possible chance how much they love you, this too shall pass!!! They will grow up and enter that dreaded stage of life called puberty. Once there, teenage-itis can strike at any time. Take a lesson that I learned the hard way and try to maintain your cool, at least until you are safely in the confines of your vehicle before letting that hissy-fit commence. You’ll thank me for this warning one day, I promise! ;)

Popularity: 55% [?]

July 14, 2006

Cooking with Smoke…

Filed under: Parenting Pickles — Darlene @ 7:01 am

Not long after we moved into our current home, Beau and I made a discovery regarding our new alarm system. I have had security systems in the past but this is the first time the smoke detectors were wired into the security monitoring system. Apparently, these new detectors are designed to raise an alarm if anything occurs within the dwelling that might in any way be indicative of the slightest possibility of smoke or a fire. I mean, they are sensitive. At this point, I never know if the fire department might show up if I burn candles on the dining room table or if I walk too close to the detector while running a fever.

In addition to their extreme sensitivity, they are wired directly into the the fire response system. Basically, you don’t want to have anything that resembles a false alarm. If something sets it off by mistake, too bad, the normal time to disarm the alarm is reduced to about 3 seconds. If you’re not “johnny on the spot” entering the code, you do not get to cancel. It’s like in Monopoly when you draw that card that says, Go to Jail—go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Actually, in our area, false alarms can result in fines of several hundred dollars too.

Now, I realize this is done on purpose for the sake of peoples’ safety but there needs to be a backup plan for those times when a few stray crumbs in the toaster can send off the faint scent of smoke or Beau has decided to play chef.

Our first false alarm was when he decided to make crepes for a project in his French class. We hadn’t been in the house very long and I was unfamiliar with the way the system worked. The firemen arrived completed with sirens and flashing lights only to find me standing on the front porch with an apology. They were kind and understanding and explained that there was very little time allowed for de-activating the alarm once it’s been set off as they don’t want to run the risk of someone being overcome by smoke while trying to deactivate the alarm.

The second time they arrived, sirens blaring and lights flashing, I was saved the embarrassment of another false alarm explanation. Beau, however, was not. I had gone to my office on a recent Saturday morning to meet with some clients. I had asked Beau to do the honors of preparing Doggie’s breakfast. I explained how to prepare it and off I went. About 30 minutes into my meeting with my clients, my cell phone rings—caller id says “Home”. I answer not to the sound of Beau’s voice but to the ear-piercing shrill of the security alarm going off. My clients, having teenages of their own, could hear the alarm from across the room and immediately grasped what was going on. (They found it humorous the way folks do when teenage antics are being performed by some teenager other than their own!)

Beau had apparently not realized that bacon grease will smoke quickly if left on high heat for more than a minute. The firemen arrived to determine that there was no damage other than the “thick as pea soup” fog of smoke filling the kitchen. The fireman carefully explained the dangers of smoke inhallation. Their recommendation: ventilate the room by opening all the doors and windows on the first floor. Their parting suggestion: for Beau to resign from his temporary positon as dog chef.

Popularity: 53% [?]

July 12, 2006

Having the Last Word!

Filed under: General Commentary,In the South, we do it This way..... — Darlene @ 2:37 pm

Funerals in the South are an event. More often than not, it’s like attending a family reunion or a party—with everyone wearing “church” clothes. Funeral food is some of the best southern cooking you can get. The commitment to making that perfect “funeral” dish and delivering it to the bereaved is a hallmark of great Southern cooks. (The really savvy ones deliver their creation in a dish that already has their name afixed to the side with masking tape to ensure the bereaved don’t have to worry about which dish belongs to which cook when it’s time to return them.)
In addition to providing the family with wonderful food, everyone takes time to tell those closest to the deceased some anecdote involving their dearly departed. Depending on just how eccentric or crazy the deceased had been, the stories can elicit a chuckle or have the entire company rolling in the floor laughing hysterically while tears flow down their faces.

In the case of the following obituary, the deceased told his own story. Apparently, he wrote it himself a few months prior to his unexpected death as the result of a car crash. I know his wife. She’s a formidable woman of high stature in the community. Despite the surprise of many of us who know her, she followed her husband’s wishes and sent his obituary to the local paper to be printed just as he wrote it. Talk about having the ultimate last word. This is it!
The paper *censored* some parts of the original text. Otherwise, the following is just as it was printed:

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark

Fred, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other’s courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred’s personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy’s wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred’s back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn’t abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician’s outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were “throw the bums out and don’t elect lawyers” (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, “he was often wrong, but never in doubt”. When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower – on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French – the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don’t go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred’s life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred’s ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred’s friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, “Fred who?”
Published in the Richmond Times-Dispatch on 7/9/2006.

Cheers to you, Fred!

This obituary has generated responses from around the country and around the world. To read the follow-up articles on the reactions and responses of both friends and strangers who were moved by Fred’s words, click here.

Popularity: 53% [?]

June 23, 2006

Doggie Dream: From Patio to Custom Pad

Filed under: Paw Prints — Darlene @ 3:42 pm

I don’t know what I was thinking last year when I wrote Puppy Power and boldly stated that Doggie would remain on the patio in his own house and not take up residence in mine. I should have known better……

Doggie has not only been given run of the first floor lately (he doesn’t seem to have any desire to go up the stairs, YET…….) he has his own special puppy pad to lounge on. While I do prefer this to his lounging on my good rug, it’s still an indicator of the preferential treatment he gets around here—-whether I like it or not.

As winter progressed, not that it was that cold here in central Virginia–balmy would be a better description, on the rare occasion that the temp dropped below 50 degrees, it was suddenly too cold for Doggie to remain in his custom log cabin (purchased for his benefit by Darlin’ Boy). He has to come into the house. In an effort to appease Doggie and protect my rug, Darlin’ Boy also purchased a special shear ling pad for Doggie’s indoor respites.

Once temperatures began to move upward and regularly topped out over 75 degrees, it was suddenly too warm for Doggie to remain outside through the heat of the day. Now he not only comes inside in the evenings to enjoy our company, he spends much of the day resting on his plush pad as well. He likes to have everyone in view. If I’m in the kitchen cooking, the pad is positioned there, if I move to the family room then dog and pad must be moved as well. Suffice to say I’ve been suckered once again—-at least this time it was only by the dog….

Since this is my first experience with a dog of my own, I’m still learning about the differences between dog behavior and cat behavior. Current cat behavior is that if doggie is on the first floor, kitty retires to the second floor, but that’s another story…

The next big change in Doggie’s life was his diet. Darlin’ Boy decided that Doggie was not getting proper nutrition. Since doggie is a very large but a senior citizen in dog years, Darlin’ boy felt that Doggie needed a custom meal plan. He is now served each morning and evening a special concoction, prepared fresh each occasion by Darlin’ Boy or myself. (I tried to let Beau play chef for him recently but that resulted in a visit from the fire department—details on that little adventure to come shortly!) Doggie’s acting chef prepares fried bacon, fatback or sausage with eggs and cheese mixed with a soft shredded dog food that’s supposed to look like hamburger. I must concede that Doggie’s coat looks more lustrous and his ribs no longer show and he seems a little more spry—despite his trouble with arthritis.

In fact, despite his arthritis and old age, Doggie is resurrected from near death to new puppy posture when Darlin’ Boy arrives wearing his favorite dog-walking ball cap. What had previously resembled a dog-shaped fur rug becomes an animated, frolicking bundle of pure puppy. Doggie’s exercise routine is as well-rounded as his diet now, too. He gets to walk/run up and down hills, around various trees and posts, which provide perfect watering opportunities for him. If he’s feeling in fine form, Darlin’ Boy has to carry not two, but three blue pooper-scooper bags. Doggie works hard to make sure the Darlin’ Boy gets plenty of exercise himself, by bending, gathering and then toting to the next available trash receptacle, Doggie’s droppings. Fortunately, the trash receptacles which host the blue bags are strategically placed around the neighborhood route but Darlin’ Boy can become extremely vexed if the receptacle dispenser of blue bags is empty. That’s sure to be the night that Doggie is feeling extra good and needs to make multiple deposits along his route. As he reaches the halfway point to circle back home, Doggie has a nice wade in the neighborhood pond to cool off and get a refreshing drink, and then Doggie finishes off his routine with a brief, yet apparently exhilarating, sinus clearing, as he tries to drink from the automatic lawn sprinkler heads he passes on the last leg of his excursion.


This is the dog’s life—breakfast and dinner prepared daily by personal chefs, climate controlled accommodations with both winter and summer homes, custom pad for sleeping and lounging, personal attendants for grooming/petting/poop scooping, personal trainers for regular daily exercise routines, and an array of toys for entertainment purposes.

Moral of this story, whenever you feel your life is not treating you in the manner you’d like, plan to come back next time as my dog—you’ll get the royal treatment, too! ;)

Popularity: 64% [?]

June 21, 2006

A Bridge Too Far…..

Filed under: Parenting Pickles — Darlene @ 3:10 pm

After Darlin’ Boy and I had such a lovely time on Chincoteague Island on the Eastern shore of Virginia recently, the parental units decided, since they, while well-traveled, had never been to that area either, to make a trip over. From Richmond, there are only two ways to reach the Eastern shore of Virginia by car. You can travel east and take the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel over or you can drive north to Maryland cross and drive down through the Maryland section. For some unknown reason, the folks set off this past Tuesday driving North to Maryland, evidently intending to “make a loop” and return via the bridge.

Visions of vacation mishaps from my youth were brought to the forefront of my memory once they returned and I heard about their adventure. For reasons known only to them, they failed to do two things that I don’t leave home without—a reservation and a weather report.

Since my brother and I have been out of school for many moons now, they also failed to consider that this is the first week of summer break during which teenagers and young twenty-somethings head for the beach en masse. In addition to the large numbers of youngsters flocking to the shore, our first tropical storm/hurricane of the season, Alberto, is marching up the coast and significant area rainfall is predicted.

They drove their “travel” vehicle, a mini van, and made their way north through Virginia into Maryland, stopping along the way any place that piqued their interest. They arrived at a late hour in Ocean City, Maryland. It was described to me as being “covered-up with kids” on summer break. And, where they found, of course, no vacancies in any of the hotels.

Tired but tenacious, they continued south through a number of the very small towns/communities and found no accommodations available. After some time, they happened on a place that my mama exclaimed, “had I seen it in daylight first, I never would have considered a stay there.” After a fitful night in the unacceptable accommodations, they continued south. I should note that apparently just 2 short miles further south the night before they would have happened on two very nice hotels that were fairly new looking but, by then, it was too late.

Did I mention the rain? In Richmond, it was a solid downpour that lasted all day long. On the coast it was apparently a solid downpour, with a pretty stiff wind to go with it. They did stop in Chincoteague and looked around but didn’t enjoy it in a downpour and their original plans to go out to the beach in such weather were quickly put aside.

They decided to cut their sight-seeing short and head home since the rain was not apparently going to subside anytime soon. Since their homeward bound trip was going to take them across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel, let me give you a few facts about it.

For those that have not traveled in these parts, the Bay Bridge Tunnel was designated “One of Seven Engineering Wonders of the Modern World” in 1965 after it’s completion in 1964. It is 20 miles long and consists of 12 miles of low-level tresses, 2 one-mile long tunnels, 2 bridges, 4 man-made islands and 5.5 miles of approach road. It’s four lanes and has a gift shop/restaurant located on it. Once you get on, you’re on until you get to the other end.

Well, typical for the folks, they decided they would just have to stop and check out the gift shop/restaurant on the bridge since it is an unusual feature compared to other bridges. That’s when the trip, now referred to by my dear ole Dad as “the two day trip from Hell”, really went downhill. As my Mama, who was driving, attempted to exit the roadway on to the gift shop/restaurant access lane, the steering wheel would no longer turn in either direction. She managed to avoid a collision with either the sides of the access ramp or another vehicle but they were definitely stranded. “In the middle of the creek, with no paddles,” so to speak.

This next part just kills me but it’s oh so typical of the folks. With the wind blowing mightily, the rain falling steadily and a tow truck standing by, my father proceeds to spend four hours attempting to re-fit the belt that came off the vehicle. There was another broken part too but the belt getting back on was the immediate need. The tow truck driver offered a tarp to hold over him while he tried to replace the belt but, apparently, between the wind and the four or five inches of water that he was standing in, it didn’t do much to keep him dry.

Bless his heart, my Daddy is a mechanical genius who can design, maintain and repair almost anything you can think of that has an engine. Despite his prowess, however, he does require basic tools when performing mechanical miracles—none of which he had with him at this particular time. (I can remember trips as a kid where the toolbox got packed before clothes to ensure we were prepared for any and all mechanical difficulties. And, of course, there was always some type of mechanical difficulty.)

Oddly enough, he was traveling with a spare of the other part that broke, although I’m sure I don’t know why and, as the tale was being told to me, I wasn’t about to ask. After four hours, working in the pouring rain with no tools and failing to get the belt re-fitted on the van, my Daddy accepted defeat and succumbed to being towed off the bridge and to the nearest Pep Boys. Once there, with the assistance of some borrowed tools, a new belt and the other spare part already in hand, he managed to fix the van. It took about 5 hours according to Mama who is not the most patient individual on the planet, so it could be a slight exaggeration, but Daddy prevailed in the end and got the van road-ready once more.

Bleakly, they made their way home arrived late and I did not hear of these adventures until the next afternoon. Daddy was sporting some ugly scrapes, bruising and swelling on his hands and arms from trying to complete the repair sans tools.

After all was said and done, apparently some of the locals had attempted to convince them to stay another day which turned out to be clear, bright, warm and sunny. But, no, they came home with much the same feelings as I had returning from my first visit to the Eastern shore, see previous post, Shore Shenanigans for details.

I just had to recommend to my Mama, the part-time travel agent, next time she might want to first consider making a reservation, at the very least. Tuning in to the weather channel probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either…..;)

Popularity: 23% [?]

June 17, 2006

Problems Vs. Solutions

Filed under: What was that? — Darlene @ 8:23 pm

My Mama, Bless her heart, just can’t resist sending me various email jokes, funny stories, etc. and sent me the one below. To this day, I’ll never understand how the woman who can’t operate the DVD/VCR I gave her for Christmas, and doesn’t know the difference between a flash drive and a flash light, has managed to master email, but she does.

Whoever wrote this was definitely thinking “outside the box”, and I must say, it’s pretty funny, even if it isn’t necessarily “politically correct”. Cheers to the author!

A Win Win Win Situation
Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately. Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals attacking humans in Florida. Not me. I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win-win situation:
* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border
* Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Popularity: 26% [?]

June 16, 2006

Shore Shenanigans

Filed under: Stupid Stories — Darlene @ 2:47 pm

My wonderful Darlin’ Boy recently took me to the Eastern shore of Virginia for a weekend to see the ponies and enjoy a little peace and quiet. It was just beautiful and we had a wonderful time. It did, however, spark the memory of the only other time I have been in that area of Virginia.

From the annals of Stupid Husband stories

A number of years ago, when I was still somewhat married to Beau’s father, he decided he would plan a weekend getaway for us. He has a penchant for seafood and had read somewhere about the abundance of fresh seafood on the island of Tangier which is in the Chesapeake Bay. Tangier, founded in the 1600s, was touted as being a quaint village with locals that still speak Elizabethan English due to their general isolation—you can only get there by boat or plane.

This was in late July or early August, if memory serves, and it was supposed to be “romantic”. The trip turned out to be everything but romantic which pretty much sums up my entire relationship with the ex—but that’s another story for another day.

Our trip began with the long drive from the western part of the state to the ferry dock on the bay—I don’t care for long car trips for starters. When we arrived at the Marina that hosted the ferry, we were directed to park the car, mine to be specific, over by some dilapidated boats. As the breeze wafted the scent of rotting fish to my nose I saw the ferry approaching.

We made our way on board and took the hour or so ride on the vessel which looked as if this might be it’s last voyage altogether. Since we had left home in the wee hours in order to make the long drive, we had not eaten in some time and, of course, the ex didn’t believe in stopping when driving for fear some other car on the highway might “lap him”. (Everything is a competition with the ex, don’t cha’ know!)

When I mentioned the late hour and my growing hunger, I was regaled with descriptions of the sumptuous seafood feast we would have once we arrived on the island. My hopes of enjoying such a repast were completely dashed upon our arrival and my first view of our destination.

The dock was, quite literally, falling apart. The shanties on the pier were decrepit. And, most obvious, was the appearance this island apparently had no plan for trash removal or a local dump, so people just dumped garbage wherever they found convenient. The populace believed that everywhere was convenient.

The waters surround the docks were filled with tires, old lawn mowers, spare parts to various types of equipment, grocery store shopping carts, bicycles, etc. Upon disembarking from the ferry, I nervously queried where we were supposed to go, where we were staying and where all the fabulous seafood restaurants were.

We were directed down a road to what could loosely be called a main thoroughfare to a row of old houses that looked once upon a time to be Victorian in style but architecturally obscured by the various “slap on” additions that had been made to them over the years. We arrived at the island’s “crown jewel”, an acclaimed B&B which was supposed to offer quaint comfort and seafood feasts.

In a language that was far from “Elizabethan” English, we were told that, no, OUR accommodations would be across the street. So across the street we went and up on to the only part of the structure that was air-conditioned, the pseudo-florida room front porch. There we found a group of weary guests that had been marooned on the island since the previous day.

At this point, I’m checking the ferry schedule to determine what time I need to be at the dock to leave that evening. These folks have been waiting for our ferry to arrive so that they can escape. One of these guests was a reporter from Baltimore, sent by her manager, to do a story on this “quaint hamlet” in the middle of the Chesapeake. She is quite verbal about the fact that this place is hot, humid, and infested with the most voracious mosquitoes found on the east coast. Miserable and itchy, she has no intention of writing a “glowing” recommendation of this place as great weekend retreat for Baltimore’s urban dwellers. The other couple, older and married, kindly asked us if we’d been married long. We said only a year or two and they promptly recommended if didn’t want to be filing for divorce in the morning that we should be on the ferry going home that evening.

If only I’d followed the advice, left on the ferry and gone ahead and filed for divorce the next day, I could have saved myself so much aggravation and misery, but, I didn’t. Looking back, “the handwriting was on the wall” by then but, alas, I failed to read it for several years thereafter.

Oh, well, such is life. Eventually, we learn our lessons.

Back to the trip from hell, we found our room which did sport a ceiling fan and two double beds. We came back downstairs only to be encouraged again by the old couple to leave while we had the chance as they headed toward the dock. The ex, however, was bouncing around like a new puppy, anxious to “explore” the island. Me, I’m still looking for some food and, by then, I wanted about a six-pack of cold beer to go with it.

That’s when I got the next bit of good news—it’s a DRY island. Meaning, they don’t sell or serve alcohol ANYWHERE on the island. If you don’t bring it with you, you suffer through your visit sober.

Going back to the main establishment across the street, the ex inquires where we might find something “light” to eat and drink to hold us until time for our fabulous “all you can eat” seafood dinner there at the B&B. We were directed to the crab shack back down at the dock. The term “shack” was generous. The menu consisted of a soft shell crab sandwich, a crab cake sandwich, and a fish sandwich. All served on white bread, not buns, sans condiments, with chips and on paper plates.

From here, the ex determines that we will rent bicycles and explore the island until dinner. Dinner is still a few hours away. The island is 6.5 miles long and about 1.5 miles at its widest point. Even by bike, it doesn’t take long to “see all there is to see.”

As I mentioned, it was hot, muggy and every inlet and tributary we pasted over was filled with the locals’ castoffs. I saw more bicycles in the “dumping” ground than I saw at the rental shop. We eventually wandered back to our accommodations to prepare for the dinner that the ex was anticipating with such glee.

At the exact time the meal was scheduled to begin, we were present at a table with 3 or 4 other tourists, who were likewise trapped, as dinner was served “family style”. The table was covered with an array of dishes, ranging from green beans to corn. There was a huge platter of ham slices and fried chicken. No seafood was to be seen.

About ten minutes after we sat down, a family of four arrived from Baltimore. Since the ferry had left and would not return until morning, it was presumed they arrived by private boat. They had actually flown in a small plane from DC area, expecting to make a quick stopover for a seafood dinner before making their way further south to their destination. Their young children, obviously hungry too, had begun to reach for a basket of rolls when one of the staff came out of the kitchen and discovered the newcomers. She brusquely announced the cost of the meal and the mother instantly reached out grabbing the hands of the children on either side of her.

I’ve eaten in 5 star restaurants serving the finest haute cuisine and it not cost as much as the price quoted to this couple. Apparently, this divine meal we were about to receive was included in the price of our overnight accommodations (over-priced too, considering) but, the meal alone sans a bed for the night was exorbitant. The newcomers mumbled something about a pressing engagement elsewhere, offered a swift apology for the inconvenience, raced back to their plane and took flight.

By this time, another staff member had appeared from the back of the house with a tray of dark brown golf balls. She carefully went around the table depositing exactly two of these “delicacies” on each plate and then retreated. The other server explained that this was the seafood portion of the feast. Two golf ball size crab cakes. That was limit of the seafood and no additional crab cakes would be offered but we were free to eat as much as we wanted of the other dishes on the table.

While edible, the meal was hardly worth a ferry ride and an overnight stay in this hovel. It was certainly no feast and didn’t include seafood, save the golf ball crab cakes which were heavy on the cake as it turns out. Undaunted by this, the ex inquires what fun activities we might enjoy after the meal. The server’s reply, “you can go down and watch the crabs molt.”

Thinking it was an attempt at humor, the erstwhile hubby says, “No really, what is there to do on the island.” She says in the same bland fashion, “You can go down and watch the crabs molt.” For the uninitiated, molting is the process whereby the crab sheds its shell, and has a soft membrane covering, hence the term soft-shell crab, until the covering hardens once again.

After leaving the dinner table, the ex pleaded with me to ride around the island on the bikes again. I preferred to go look for a boat captain as desperate for money as I was to leave and hire him to take me back to the shore and my car. The ex then proclaims that the “charming” place we’re staying will provide for such a romantic evening and the breakfast the next morning was bound to be better, since it was after all a Bed and Breakfast!

He apparently failed to realize the extent of my displeasure and discomfort but the possibilities of his experiencing any “romance” with me that night were about as good as finding an ocean in the middle of the Sahara. We made our way back to the limited coolness of the florida room/porch at our temporary digs to discover two of the other intrepid travelers had had the forethought to pack a bottle of booze.

To this day I don’t remember what it was—bourbon, scotch, corn liquor or white lightening and I really didn’t care. They were gracious enough to share, bless their hearts, and considering the limited amount of food I’d consumed that day, it didn’t take much to put me into a blissful state of numbness. Once there, I determinedly walked up the stairs, readied myself for bed and dug out my book. The ex appeared and was unbelievably surprised to discover he was sleeping in the other bed.

I finally drifted off, sustained by the thoughts of my departure in the early morn on the ferry. The night passed fitfully but finally it was light and I quickly prepared for my departure. As I was dressing, I observed the source of my discomfort the night before. I looked like I had the measles. I was covered in bites. Thinking initially it was mosquitoes, I took a close look at the room and the window but they were firmly covered by appropriate screens. Then I looked at the bed. There I discovered the problem—fleas, hundreds of them! That was it, the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I wanted off that island and preferably sans hubby. I marched downstairs to confirm the arrival of the first ferry and the time of its departure and finalized my plans to be on it. My plans were quickly dashed, however, when I found out on this day the schedule was exactly opposite of the day before and I would have to wait for the afternoon ferry to get back to the dock where my car was located. Another eight hours in this nightmare—-would I ever wake up???

Feeling homicidal, but still having a tiny bit of control, I settled myself in the chair closest to the AC on the porch and proceeded to loose myself in my book. The appointed hour was announced by the sound of the fog horn on the ferry from the dock. I raced to the boat, almost ready to swear I would never set foot off terra firma again if I could ever get back to shore.

The conclusion to this mis-adventure is totally in keeping with the rest of the story. We arrived back at the marina only to discover that the previous night while I was being eaten alive, it caught fire and burned almost completely to the ground. The gods smiled on me, thankfully, and spared my little compact car. But as I climbed in, started the engine and began to maneuver through the burned wreckage to go home, I almost drove right off the pier into the water when the ex suggested a short side-trip to a little place he had read was “just off the beaten path, but picturesque…..”

Popularity: 89% [?]

April 27, 2006

Dating.com

Filed under: What was that? — Darlene @ 9:40 am

A recent article in The Wall Street Journal extolls the risks of online dating. It goes so far as to indicate that marriages from online dating have a higher divorce rate. The reason—the false claims made in the profiles. They’re kidding, right?

Are we suppose to believe that prior to the internet, when meeting prospective date candidates in the venues then available (ie. bars, discos, parties, etc.) that people were always truthful about their “profile”? I’ve seen women lie about their age and their name and men lie about their job, financial picture and where they live. I’ve known both sexes to lie about their current relationship status, be it “going steady”, engaged or married, if they are on the prowl for a “new” opportunity.

If anything, because of the writing requirement, the internet provides more clues to person’s make up than what you get gazing across a smoky bar! It also gives you time to communicate with another individual extensively prior to even seeing them in person. In days gone by, it was NORMAL for people to write to each other for long periods of time before getting down to the brass tacks of regular meetings, now called dates.

Just in my personal experience, I’ve met some really nice people in bars, discos, at parties and on the internet. I’ve met just as many jerks, liars and ne’er-do-wells in bars, discos, at parties and on the internet. One of my absolute worse experiences was a meeting arranged by my parents and an uncle. Should have been fairly safe ground, right? Wrong!!! The guy turned out to be a total jerk and a lech to boot.

Bottom line, boys and girls, whether you’re out there trolling the hot spots in person or surfing the net online, there are basic rules and guidelines you should follow when meeting someone new. The following is my suggested list of questions, you may have some additional requirements but these are basic enough to get you started.

Profile Piercing Questions for a new Prospect:

1. What’s your name? Do you have a photo id to verify that?
2. Do you have a job? Can I see a copy of your most recent paycheck?
3. What kind of car do you drive? Can I see your license and registration?
4. Do you have good credit? Can I have your name, address and Social Security number so I can pull a credit report?
5. Are you physically fit? Can I check in with your family physician to verify your overall health?
6. Do you smoke? Can I check your body for nicotine patches?
7. Do you drink? How many fingers am I holding up? or Stand on one foot and count to 30!
8. Do you live alone? I will, of course, be checking the closets and bathroom medicine cabinet if we ever go there!
9. Are you on the lamb, a convicted felon or currently dodging the IRS? Can I check with the local police department for your arrest record?

And most important these days,
10. Can I assume that all body parts are natural? If not, are they enhanced by surgery, cosmetics or medication?

Seriously, whatever the venue when meeting a potential dating candidate, use caution and common sense, take your time and get to know the person. Whether s/he turns out to be the love of your life or not, you’ll have a better chance of meeting nice folks and making new friends.

Best advice—Never judge a book by it’s cover and take time to “read between the lines”! ;)

Popularity: 31% [?]

April 21, 2006

Life’s Little Lessons

Filed under: Feeding the Soul — Darlene @ 9:23 am

With everything that is happening in the world today, good news seems scarce. Then, seemingly out of the blue, you get a small reminder of all that is right in the world. You remember to value your friends and family and to be grateful for what you have instead of worrying about what you don’t have. Plan for what you want and prepare for the unexpected and take care of yourself along the way because you never know what you may need to do, but you want to be up to the task!

The following ten lesson’s came to me from a friend and I want to share them with you!

Cheers to the author!

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah’s Ark.

ONE: Don’t miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you’re stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Most people walk in and out of your life……but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart

Popularity: 18% [?]

February 26, 2006

Things My Mother Taught Me!

Filed under: Parenting Pickles — Darlene @ 1:38 pm

My Mama was always good at having a quick “turn of phrase” for any particular event or situation during my childhood. Many of these idioms contained kernels of clear, pure truth that were often overlooked as a child yet well-remembered as an adult. If you grew up like I did, being taught the basics of respect your elders, respect yourself, respect others and being responsible, then you will appreciate the following list.

Hats off to the author, although it wasn’t me or my Mama, it sure could have been!!!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told! you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP!
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

Popularity: 28% [?]

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